Counselors on the Couch
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Counselors on the Couch presents insider perspectives on a variety of topics to help individuals and couples understand how counseling, coaching, and self help can change your life. Our team and guests speak openly from personal experiences and perspectives, giving you a peak into what counselors see and know that you can use to deepen your awareness and fill your personal toolbox with the answers to your self-help questions.
Counselors on the Couch
The Struggle of Divorce: Part 4 Is it a Boundary or is it Control?
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Boundaries are essential to all healthy relationships. A boundary tell you where you stop, and others begin. Boundaries well enforced tell others where they must stop, so they don’t intrude on you.
People with week, poor, rigid, or unidirectional boundaries have difficulty maintaining a relationship.
Often, in couples’ conflict there is a direct correlation between boundary maintenance and unresolved conflict. E.g. if one party feels that they have the right to tell others what to do or how to do it, then there is no boundary for respecting the autonomy of other people. This often leads to nagging, controlling, criticizing, contempt language, anger, etc. The transgression of boundaries against another person will likely result in resentment, push back, anger, hurt, fear, and other reactive feelings.
Boundaries protect you from being intruded upon by self-focused others and prevent you from intruding upon others for your own selfish reasons….