Counselors on the Couch
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Counselors on the Couch presents insider perspectives on a variety of topics to help individuals and couples understand how counseling, coaching, and self help can change your life. Our team and guests speak openly from personal experiences and perspectives, giving you a peak into what counselors see and know that you can use to deepen your awareness and fill your personal toolbox with the answers to your self-help questions.
Counselors on the Couch
The Struggle of Divorce: Part 3 Anger-Bitterness-Rage
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Put a Stop to Depression & Aggression.
Anger is an Expression of Hurt
Anger is an expression of hurt, which can often be fear that the hurt will continue.
The tough truth is, marriage is the melding of two people into a unified new creation-the couple. Divorce rips you apart. When you divorce, regardless of the reason, you must rip that new creation apart. The result is not two neat and tidy individuals again, but two people with ragged edges.
Illustrate with conjoined twins who are surgically separated. There will be a scar, likely an ugly one, and in most cases, reconstruction continues over time and as healing make the new individual stronger.
Anger typically follows an identifiable transition from a core feeling being triggered, followed by feeling hurt, progressing to anger, and if left unresolved, winds up externalized as rage (aggression), internalized as bitterness (depression), or both.
Anger drives Depression or Aggression
Whether turned inward, outward, or everywhere at once, anger is an expression of the unrepaired core hurt. By knowing that source, you can defeat the anger and restore personal peace, regardless of your ex/spouse’s choices.